Auntumn

  It seems I've been thinking and writing a lot about change lately.  I guess that's because life is all about change.  Without change, there would be no life.  Without change, the caterpillar would never become the butterfly, Winter would never become Spring, the greens of Summer would never become the rich golds and crimsons and browns of Fall.

  Sometimes we want change, even long for it, other times we fear it.  We fear change because change means things will be different, no longer known.  We long for change because we dislike what is and wish for something we think will be better.
  Today, I am thinking of the changes that have been occurring in my heart.  Specifically, the change of being willing to accept the lack of change in my life.  There are many things I would wish to be different, but they remain the same.  Foremost in my mind is the often painful fact that I am still single.  I am learning to accept this fact, while still trusting that my Father will one day change it.  Sometimes accepting the lack of change can be harder than accepting the changes.  
  The changes in my heart take place as I learn to look to Him for all that I need.  He alone is able to give the love that I long for.  He alone will love me without fail.  He alone will be faithful completely and never disappoint me and leave me wondering what happened to love.  He alone will truly never leave me.
  Sometimes I wonder why it is that I feel like I need more than what He is giving me.  Isn't He supposed to be all that I need?  I don't know the answer to this question.  I can only trust Him, trusting that if I needed the answer, He would give it to me, clinging ever closer to Him.