Happy New Year

Each year, as the year draws to an end, I begin to reflect with more purpose on the year that is nearly past.   Each year I choose a word that best describes that year of my life.   There are many words that could describe 2014, change, pain, struggles, etc.  but over arching them all, one word rings out with more clarity than all the others.  Growth.  It was a year of change, of many struggles, and of pain.   I faced many challenges, some much more difficult than others.  Some were of the physical variety, but most were internal, emotional.  Most people never saw either the struggle or the pain.  But there is One who saw it all.  Not only did He see the struggles and the pain, but He used them to accomplish His work in my life.   There is much that I faced in 2014 that I would just as soon never think about again.  At the time I felt I was in a very dark place, both emotionally and spiritually.  I felt lost, alone, broken beyond repair, and very, very small.  Looking back I see a very different picture.  Looking back I still see the pain and the struggles, but I also see a very big God!  Looking back I can see His hand in every struggle, every painful circumstance and realization, and in the very darkest moments it was His hands that held me close.  
   I love to garden.  I have two gardens, one for vegetables and annual flowers, and one for shrubs and perennial flowers.  With each of my shrubs, I have a specific idea in mind of the shape and size I wish that shrub to be, and each year I must trim and prune the shrub to achieve the desired results.  Some years I only trim a little here and there.  Other years require much more drastic pruning.  I did not get much, if any, pruning done in my garden in 2014.  The pruning was happening in my life and in my heart.   The Master Gardener was using the circumstances of my life to prune out the ugly, dead, and diseased bits of my heart, shaping me into His image, growing me to be His woman.   As difficult and as painful as the past year has been, when I look at it from this perspective, I would not go back and change one circumstance, even if I could.  The growth and the change that He has worked in my heart is worth facing far more than the pain and the struggles of the past year.  The last few months of the year have been months of healing, of learning to trust my Heavenly Father, of learning to rest in His arms, and to stay near to His heart.   For the first time in my life I can truly and honestly say that He is all that I need to be complete and to be content.   I don't mean to say that there are not still things I desire, and even long for, but my heart is content in His love.  Perhaps because I am finally beginning to understand His love for me, but that is best left for another post another day.
May each of you, my dear readers, have a blessed and happy New Year, filled with His joy and blessings!

Giving Thanks

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

  Have  you ever stopped to think about thanks?  I mean, really think about it?  God's been working in my heart about being thankful, truly thankful.  How many times a day do I say, "Thank you," and yet not really mean anything more by it than acknowledging that someone has done something for me, most often something that it was their job to do. ( The cashier at the store hands me my change, I smile, say, " thank you," and go on my merry way. )  But how thankful am I, really, on the inside, where it counts?  How often do I say, "thank you," and really mean, "you did your job satisfactorily, common courtesy  obligates me to acknowledge your efforts"?  

  Even when it comes to my prayers of thanksgiving, am I really thankful?  How often are my thanks to God just words, because the Bible says I'm supposed to be thankful?  Is my heart thankful, or am I saying "thank you" to mask a heart of discontent?  So often I say prayers and words of thanks, while in my heart I'm complaining about all the things I don't have, or the things they didn't do.  

  More and more I am realizing that discontent is more than just being discontent, it's a lack of being thankful.  When I am truly thankful for all that I do have, I will cease to be discontent because of what I don't have.  When I find myself complaining and discontent, if I stop and think about something I am thankful for, my discontent will vanish, my complaining will cease, the true rejoicing will start, and the prayers of thanksgiving, real thanksgiving, will soar heavenward.  And it won't stop with me, my thankful spirit will begin to rub off on those around me as His joy ripples ever outward to the world around me.

   Oh, Lord, make me truly grateful!