Happy New Year

Each year, as the year draws to an end, I begin to reflect with more purpose on the year that is nearly past.   Each year I choose a word that best describes that year of my life.   There are many words that could describe 2014, change, pain, struggles, etc.  but over arching them all, one word rings out with more clarity than all the others.  Growth.  It was a year of change, of many struggles, and of pain.   I faced many challenges, some much more difficult than others.  Some were of the physical variety, but most were internal, emotional.  Most people never saw either the struggle or the pain.  But there is One who saw it all.  Not only did He see the struggles and the pain, but He used them to accomplish His work in my life.   There is much that I faced in 2014 that I would just as soon never think about again.  At the time I felt I was in a very dark place, both emotionally and spiritually.  I felt lost, alone, broken beyond repair, and very, very small.  Looking back I see a very different picture.  Looking back I still see the pain and the struggles, but I also see a very big God!  Looking back I can see His hand in every struggle, every painful circumstance and realization, and in the very darkest moments it was His hands that held me close.  
   I love to garden.  I have two gardens, one for vegetables and annual flowers, and one for shrubs and perennial flowers.  With each of my shrubs, I have a specific idea in mind of the shape and size I wish that shrub to be, and each year I must trim and prune the shrub to achieve the desired results.  Some years I only trim a little here and there.  Other years require much more drastic pruning.  I did not get much, if any, pruning done in my garden in 2014.  The pruning was happening in my life and in my heart.   The Master Gardener was using the circumstances of my life to prune out the ugly, dead, and diseased bits of my heart, shaping me into His image, growing me to be His woman.   As difficult and as painful as the past year has been, when I look at it from this perspective, I would not go back and change one circumstance, even if I could.  The growth and the change that He has worked in my heart is worth facing far more than the pain and the struggles of the past year.  The last few months of the year have been months of healing, of learning to trust my Heavenly Father, of learning to rest in His arms, and to stay near to His heart.   For the first time in my life I can truly and honestly say that He is all that I need to be complete and to be content.   I don't mean to say that there are not still things I desire, and even long for, but my heart is content in His love.  Perhaps because I am finally beginning to understand His love for me, but that is best left for another post another day.
May each of you, my dear readers, have a blessed and happy New Year, filled with His joy and blessings!

Let Me Be the Daddy

  I was reading a blog post the other day called, "Let Me Be the Mommy" (sorry, i cant remember the blog, it's one that one of my friends had shared on Facebook the other day).  In her post, the author was telling how she dealt with her young children's  squabbles and worries, telling them, "Let me be the mommy," to remind them that she is in charge and to let her handle the problem for them.   As I was reading, I thought of it from the perspective of a mommy/nanny to a six year old. Could I use this with Ary?   
  Today, however,  as I'm feeling very much overwhelmed, tired, and just plain worn out by all that I'm facing in my life right now, I was thinking about that blog post again.  Only this time God changed my perspective with a whisper to my heart, "Who's in charge here? Won't you stop fighting and worrying and let Me handle your problems and troubles? Won't you let Me be the Daddy?"  
I stopped in my tracks ( literally, I'm out walking).  I find myself completely overwhelmed by this "new" thought.   I don't have to handle anything.  I don't have to cope, I don't have to worry, I don't have to fix anything. I have a Father who is bigger, stronger, much more capable than I to take care of everything for me.  I just have to let go, step back, and let Him handle it.  He won't force me to let Him, He waits patiently for me to come to my senses and give it all to Him. But He is there, right there in the middle of it all, wanting to take all my troubles and worries, to fight all my battles, if only I will give them to Him and let Him be the Daddy.