Reflections

As I sit contemplating the old year, I have been thinking about reflections. There are different kinds of reflections, and different things we can reflect or reflect upon. Webster gives two definitions of the word 'reflect' that I have been focusing on in my thoughts: "to give back or exhibit as an image, likeness, or outline", and "to think quietly and calmly". The first definition defines what our lives should be in relation to Jesus Christ. We are to be a reflection of Him to the world around us. The second brings to mind a passage from Psalm 46. Verse 10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The word translated here, 'be still', can also mean to slacken, or abate, cease, let alone, let go, stay or leave. A dear friend and mentor likes to put it this way, "Stop fighting and kicking up dust!" Albert Barnes in his Notes on the Bible says regarding the words 'be still', "It is also employed in the sense of not making an effort; not putting forth exertion; and then would express the idea of leaving matters with God, or of being without anxiety about the issue. Compare Exodus 14:13, “Stand still, and see the salvation of God.” In this place the word seems to be used as meaning that there was to be no anxiety; that there was to be a calm, confiding, trustful state of mind in view of the displays of the divine presence and power. The mind was to be calm." How often do we get so busy "kicking up dust" with our own efforts that we forget to stand still, to cease, to let it alone and reflect on God's hand at work in our lives? This thought has pulled me up short in my reflections of my life this past year. How much of my time was spent "kicking up dust" and how much was spent in quiet waiting, allowing my Lord and Savior to mold me and make me into a reflection of Himself?
This past year has been a difficult year for me, full of ups and downs, twists and turns, most of them completely unexpected. I have gone from an almost euphoric state of hope and happiness to feeling nearly hopeless and everywhere in between and then back again. It has been emotionally exhausting to say the least. Through all of this has been woven one thought, "Why is it taking so long for God to bring the right man into my life?" I would like to be able to say that I have been sitting still, letting go and waiting on God. A part of me wants to cry out indignantly, "I've been waiting! Look at where I could have been, what I could have had, if I had done things my way!" But the truth is (I find it especially difficult to deceive myself this time of year) there is an awful lot of dust swirling around my heart and there is a weariness I cannot describe that comes from so much hanging on, sometimes, it seems, for dear life. Instead of being a clear reflection of Jesus, the mirror of my heart is smudged with the dirt and grime of fear and worry, and a thick layer of dust from all my striving. No, I haven't been out on a "man hunt", but I haven't exactly been waiting either, certainly not patiently. I once did a word study on the words 'wait', 'hope' and 'trust' as they relate to God's working in our life and found them so intertwined as to make them nearly synonymous in my mind. One of the passages I studied at the time was Psalm 37:3-8 and the Lord has been repeatedly bringing it to mind during the past week or so.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He will bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret - it only causes harm.

I felt His prompting to review my notes from my previous study and I am amazed anew at what treasures I find. I want to share with you just a portion of what I am newly rediscovering! I have gone to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance on the Bible and looked up the original and complete meanings of some of the key words and the treasures I discovered there are too wonderful for words.

Trust - literally to run or make haste to for refuge
Delight - to be soft or pliable, to delight one's self in
Commit - literally to roll off onto
Rest - to be silent, to stop, cease, to hold peace, quiet self, be still, wait

When you read the passage again with a more literal translation on these words it takes on a whole new, much richer meaning and might read something like this. (I have taken the whole chapter as context for the passage in my "translation".)

"When you start to feel worried or troubled, run to Yahweh for your refuge and do what is right. Dwell (to live permanently) in the land (probably speaking of the promised land of Israel, our promised land is in Heaven, where we have our permanent citizenship) and feast on His unending faithfulness. Allow Yahweh to shape and mold you as you delight in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Which He has placed there because He delights to fulfill them!) Don't keep trying to carry the burden of your life, roll it off your own shoulders and onto His, run to Yahweh for your refuge and strength and He will do it. He will make your righteousness (your reflection of Him) shine like a light in the darkness and your justice like the noonday. Be silent, stop trying to do things your own way or in your own strength. Rest and trust in Yahweh and wait patiently for Him. (The word translated 'wait' here can also mean to dance, hope, look to, rest, stay, tarry, trust or wait carefully, giving the idea that we are not to simply wait, but to wait joyfully as we hope in Him!) Do not worry because of those who seem to have everything, or because of the evil you see around you. Stop being angry and turn away from fierce anger. Don't worry - it will only make things worse!"

How wonderful to have God we can run to, trust in, and wait on knowing He will bring to pass things too wonderful to comprehend!

Oh, Lord, as I enter this new year, may it be a year of truly trusting You! Let me wait with joy for Your perfect plan! Thank You that Your ways, Your plans are infinitely higher than my own! Thank You that You are a God "who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think"! Even my most treasured dreams pale in comparison to the dreams You have for me! Hold me close to You, draw me ever nearer as I wait for You to work Your perfect will in my life. Let me feel Your arms around me when my heart is aching and lonely. Give me the strength and courage to let go of my own dreams so I can cling to You alone. Wipe away the dust off of the mirror of my heart that I might be a clear reflection of You to those around me. Place Your peace in my heart and may it guard my heart from worry. Lord, give me the faith to trust You more! I give You this year ahead, use it for Your glory!