The Storm

   I'm sitting here, listening to the rain on the roof, the wind lashing it against the window pain, drinking my second cup of chai (it's a hot tea kind of day!) and watching the wind on the river.  I am warm and dry and safe from the storm.   I feel the physical safety, from this physical storm.  But as I look out the window, see the waves on the river, hear the rain beat on the roof, on the inside, I feel more like the birds on the water.  Wind blown and storm tossed.  My life feels more like the river, rushing past me, tossed by the storm, rough and unsafe, in danger of capsizing my boat at any moment.
   In my quiet time with the Lord today, I read from Matthew 8.  The disciples were with Jesus in the boat.  The storm came and they were afraid.   Even though Jesus was in the boat with them, they were afraid.   I think I understand how the disciples felt.   They knew Jesus was in the boat.  They knew He had the power to save them, they'd just seen Him heal a leper, after all, but still they were afraid.  In that moment, the storm was the biggest thing in their minds.  In their minds, that was their current reality.   Wind howling, waves crashing,  rain poring down in torrents, the boat is beginning to sink.  And they are afraid.  I used to wonder, how was it, that after seeing Jesus perform miracle after miracle, could they still be afraid?  Now I know.  Now the storm is my storm.  Now I am the one seeing the waves, hearing the wind, feeling the rain lash against my face.  Now I am the one who is afraid.   Even though I know Jesus is in my boat, too.  I have also seen Him work miracles, over and over again, but I am still afraid, just like they were.   And I am still confused by their fear, just as I am confused  by my own.
   Why am I afraid?  I know Who is in my boat, I know what He can do, I even know He can calm the storm.    But maybe that's just it.  I know He can, but the storm still rages.  Am I afraid because He hasn't done what I thought He should?  Am I afraid because I don't know how much worse the storm will get?  I know He has the power to still the storm, I know He has a plan, I know He knows the plan.  I also know that He has the power to see me through the storm.  So why am I still afraid?

Cheesy Potato Alfredo (Gluten Free Scalloped Potatoes)

I wanted scalloped potatoes for dinner.   I didn't feel like taking the time to experiment with making the usual white sauce with gluten free flour.   So, I grabbed a jar of Alfredo sauce from the pantry (I don't know if all Alfredo sauce is gluten free, so check your labels.) and poured it over the sliced potatoes.  Sprinkled that with a generous layer of shredded jack and cheddar cheese and threw it in the oven (covered until the last 10 minutes) at 400* for about an hour.   So easy, but that was the best scalloped potatoes!  Would have been  good with some ham or sausage too,  or shrimp would be really good!  

  It might be a bit more difficult to eat gluten free, but for an experiment-in-the-kitchen nut like me, it can be kinda fun too!

Going Gluten Free

  About a month and a half ago, I finally took the plunge and eliminated gluten from my diet.   It has been amazing the difference it has made in how I feel!  My fibromyalgia has especially improved, and I have had almost no headaches, which, is a really big deal for someone who suffered from almost daily headaches for years!
   As I have started on this journey, I have enjoyed experimenting with favorite recipes, discovering new ways of making old things.    Friends have asked about my recipes, so I thought I'd start sharing my successes here for all my gluten free friends to try too.
   This first installment is a fabulous bar cookie recipe originally from www.crazyforcrust.com.   If you like peanut butter and chocolate, you will love this recipe!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookie Bars 

Ingredients:

   1 cup peanut butter

   1 cup sugar

   2 eggs

   1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

   2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled

   1 teaspoon vanilla extract

   1/2 cup chopped nuts

Directions:

   1.  Preheat oven to 350*.  Line a 9x9 inch baking pan with foil and spray with cooking spray.  Set aside.

   2.  Mix the peanut butter, sugar, and 1 egg in a large bowl by hand.  Spread into the bottom of the prepared pan.  Bake for 12 minutes.  While crust is baking, make the filling.

   3.  In medium bowl, stir together the melted and cooled chocolate with the sweetened condensed milk.  Add remaining egg and vanilla.  Stir until combined.  When crust come out of the oven, spread chocolate mixture over hot crust.  Sprinkle nuts evenly on top.  Return to oven and bake an additional 20 - 25 minutes until the top bounces back when you touch it.   Cool completely and cut into bars.  Enjoy!!!

Saying Goodbye

I am not home yet.   "Everything is okay in the end.  If it isn't okay, it isn't the end."  Unknown

The Flower

A tiny seed,

A drop of rain,

Then clouds away,

Sun shines again.

A spot of green,

More rain and sun,

Brand new flower,

Has just begun.

Stretching tall,

Up to the sky,

Flower's growing,

Reaching high.

A bit of color,

On top of green,

Lovely flower,

Can be seen.

Lots of sun,

But not much rain,

Flower dies,

But feels no pain.

Small brown seed,

Cold dark earth,

Snow is falling,

Seed waits birth.

Spring has come,

More sun and rain.

A tiny seed,

Begin again.

New Year's Thoughts

  Once again, I am thinking of changes.  (Seems to be a popular topic in my thoughts lately!)  With the dawning of a new year, though, I am thinking more of changes that need to happen, rather than changes that are happening, or have happened.  Changes that I wish to see in my own life and heart.   Looking back at the old year, I see much in my heart and life that was not as it should have been.    Of the 365 days of 2011, many (okay, most) were not used as productively and efficiently as they could/should have been.  Far too often the thoughts of my heart were focused on the troubles around me, whether real or perceived, rather than on my precious Lord and Savior.   Too often I found my focus inward rather than outward and upward.   Too many hours were spent on idle, worthless time wasters when they could have been spent doing something productive and useful.
  This year, I am determined, will, with the Lord's grace, be different.  Fewer idle moments, fewer selfish thoughts and attitudes, less time spent worrying about what I cannot change anyway.   More time spent with my Savior, more time spent for others, more words of encouragement.   As I think about it, it all seems so overwhelming, and I am reminded that "sufficient for the day is its own trouble", and I must not "be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself."