It still hasn't sunk in yet. My little brother is married. He has a wife now and Theresa is officially my sister. I am used to him being gone to Salem for the weekend, so it doesn't seem strange yet to not have him "at home". I am wondering when it will really hit me. When will it seem real?
As I watched the ceremony, I kept thinking to myself, "This doesn't seem like it's really happening. I feel like I'm watching a play," and wondering if it felt any more real to the people around me, or even Trent and Theresa. It is hard getting used to such a big change, especially when it means letting go of long cherished dreams of being the first. A friend on facebook posted the other day saying, "Security is found when you let go, true hope is then there to hold onto." I am learning to let go and let God do His work, but it isn't always easy. I so easily forget to trust. Then I become afraid and cling all the tighter to my dreams, afraid that God will "mess them up". I know God's ways are infinitely better and more beautiful than mine, but still I am afraid.
Lord, help me to trust You! Help me to keep my focus on Your love and power and not my fears. Keep my eyes fully turned to You and not the waves of the storm around me.
