From the Other Side of the Bed Rail

*First of all, I want to make it clear that I am in no way intending to accuse any one of  my amazing friends, or to make anyone feel guilty.  This post is simply an honest observation of what I learned while I was the one lying in bed with little else to do.*

  I recently had surgery to remove a rather large (the size of an ostrich egg or small cantaloupe to be exact), although benign, tumor.  I spent most of three days and all of two nights in the hospital, and two weeks at home on "house arrest".    I'm still not feeling quite like myself and am keeping a light schedule and doing very little, but there truly is light at the end of the tunnel!
  During my house bound recovery, cards and flowers and visits and phone calls from friends were truly the highlights of my days, the bright spots in an otherwise painfully boring existence.    The only problem was, the entire first week was almost completely silent.   I had one phone call (from my sister), and a few text messages from a friend or two while in hospital, then for the rest of the week almost the only communication I received was either through my mom, or what I would have received anyway.  (To those of you who asked me directly how I was doing, THANK YOU!)  For the most part, I felt invisible, forgotten.
  Now, don't get me wrong, I know exactly what was happening, what people were probably thinking.  I know because I've done and thought the same thing before, many times.  Someone is ill or has just had surgery, they need rest to recover, so you think, "I don't want to bother them, I'll call later."   But later you think the same thing. Or you think, "I'll have to ask ----- (insert name of family member or close friend you feel will know) when I see them."    I've done this a hundred times before!  But let me tell you somethings I never knew before I was the one stuck at home and, mostly, in bed.
   Call anyway!  Yes, I needed rest, but a person can only sleep so many hours in a day, and when you're stuck in bed with little to do, the hours left awake stretch on forever!  I found myself thinking many times, "I wish someone would just call to say hello and how are you feeling."  Not once, even as I drifted off to sleep, again, did I think, "I hope no one calls while I'm sleeping."  (Except with the thought in mind that if someone did call, I didn't want to miss it!)  Honestly, by the middle of the week, I would have welcomed a call at 2 AM!  I was that bored.  When you're stuck in bed, even mostly, for that long, it doesn't take long before you start thinking, "I can sleep any time, I just wish someone would call or visit or even wake me up to break up this boredom!"
  Go for a visit!  Call first, to be sure it's a good time, but seeing a  "new" face helps break up the boredom immensely!  You don't have to stay long, especially if it's early on in the recovery, but just stop by for a quick hello and how are you, is there anything you need, etc.
  If you're really worried about bothering them, send a card, or an email, or message them on Facebook, or send a text!  That way they can read it at their convenience!  (If they really don't want to be disturbed, they'll turn off the notifications, or for that matter, the phone/ringer!)
  Send card right away!   By the time I really started getting cards  (I never did get much for phone calls and only a few visitors), I was feeling well enough to be up and out of bed and, for the most part, no longer bored to tears or in desperate need of encouragement.
  Another thing I discovered, while flowers are the standard gift for someone who is ill or recovering from surgery, they aren't very practical.  Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVED the flowers I got, they helped to let me know that people were thinking about me and they made my room a little brighter and cheerier.  Flowers don't, however, help much to relieve the boredom.  I'm not saying don't send flowers.  By all means, if you want to send flowers, do!  (Just be thoughtful of any potential allergies and avoid strongly scented blooms unless you know they're okay.)   Especially if you can't be there in person, they're a great way to let someone know you're thinking of them.  (If you can be there in person, deliver them in person, they'll mean even more!) I'm just saying I found other kinds of gifts to be more useful in breaking up the boredom.   The gifts I found most thoughtful were things like: a book to read (one friend who writes Bible studies even sent me her latest book!), snacks to keep by my bed, and stopping by with a simple project to work on together.  One friend, a dear lady from church who knows I love to knit, chose to give me yarn, instead of flowers, so I would have something to do to help pass the time.   I also really appreciated the cards I received, because I could keep going back to them if I needed a little boost of encouragement. I especially appreciated the few I got even before I went in for surgery, letting me know that people were praying for me and thinking of me as I faced something I, quite honestly, found rather terrifying.
  So, if you know someone who is stuck at home, or in the hospital, send a card!  Make that phone call!  Stop by for a visit if they're feeling like company!  And don't wait, do it now, you'll make their day!

Happy New Year

Each year, as the year draws to an end, I begin to reflect with more purpose on the year that is nearly past.   Each year I choose a word that best describes that year of my life.   There are many words that could describe 2014, change, pain, struggles, etc.  but over arching them all, one word rings out with more clarity than all the others.  Growth.  It was a year of change, of many struggles, and of pain.   I faced many challenges, some much more difficult than others.  Some were of the physical variety, but most were internal, emotional.  Most people never saw either the struggle or the pain.  But there is One who saw it all.  Not only did He see the struggles and the pain, but He used them to accomplish His work in my life.   There is much that I faced in 2014 that I would just as soon never think about again.  At the time I felt I was in a very dark place, both emotionally and spiritually.  I felt lost, alone, broken beyond repair, and very, very small.  Looking back I see a very different picture.  Looking back I still see the pain and the struggles, but I also see a very big God!  Looking back I can see His hand in every struggle, every painful circumstance and realization, and in the very darkest moments it was His hands that held me close.  
   I love to garden.  I have two gardens, one for vegetables and annual flowers, and one for shrubs and perennial flowers.  With each of my shrubs, I have a specific idea in mind of the shape and size I wish that shrub to be, and each year I must trim and prune the shrub to achieve the desired results.  Some years I only trim a little here and there.  Other years require much more drastic pruning.  I did not get much, if any, pruning done in my garden in 2014.  The pruning was happening in my life and in my heart.   The Master Gardener was using the circumstances of my life to prune out the ugly, dead, and diseased bits of my heart, shaping me into His image, growing me to be His woman.   As difficult and as painful as the past year has been, when I look at it from this perspective, I would not go back and change one circumstance, even if I could.  The growth and the change that He has worked in my heart is worth facing far more than the pain and the struggles of the past year.  The last few months of the year have been months of healing, of learning to trust my Heavenly Father, of learning to rest in His arms, and to stay near to His heart.   For the first time in my life I can truly and honestly say that He is all that I need to be complete and to be content.   I don't mean to say that there are not still things I desire, and even long for, but my heart is content in His love.  Perhaps because I am finally beginning to understand His love for me, but that is best left for another post another day.
May each of you, my dear readers, have a blessed and happy New Year, filled with His joy and blessings!